The Juubi Mistake Of Revivious Nature
by Successful World Is A Nice Rel
Summary: "First, let me get my anus and nipples back.. and then I will enter deep contemplation about what fun I am going to have!" It yelled. Naruto grit his teeth and got whipped cream from his mouth. "How dare you insult my friends, ten tailed stonehead! And I won't let you get them you hear me dattebaical dattebayouit!" "What is that, new cool kid 133t speeak?" Naruto almost lost it


A circular red light could be seen from the cloud of smoke which surrounded the battlefield. The area instaly became revebrated with suffocating energy, a combined chakra of seven tailed beasts. Naruto, Kakashi and Guy looked with full attention towards the smoke.

"Did we get him? Is this the end?" Unable to conceive the prolonged use of the power of patience, Naruto blurted out with anticipation on his face.

Suddenly, a blur of red and black moved in their field of vision.

"Yes, this is the end! For you!" Obito frowned smugly and as on cue, the smoke was suddenly blown and the curtains revealed... WILD TEN TAILED OR LEGGED OR LEGLESS BUT WITH MUSCULAR HANDS BEAST.

Everyone except Madara and Obito who was checking out the monster which replaced the Gedo Mazo statue with starry eyes and smug looks on their face, like a newly made parents, anyway, everyone except those guys opened their mouths in shock, especially Naruto.

"What the dattebayo is this dattebayo things?! I literally datebayo felt Gedo Mazo dissapear! I thought we dattebayincg made it!"

Kurama sighed, his voice slightly trembling. "I am afraid not.. Naruto, this is it! The Ten Tails!"

Smirking, Madara voiced his thoughts. "Shall we begin?" And then he dissapeared.

"Soon, the Moon Plan will be complete! You hear that, Kakashi?!" Obito scowled at the masked wizard and jumped in the air. "I believe can fly!"

Meanwhile Naruto and Kurama was strategcally analysing the battlefield,precalculation most likely occurences and making plans according to highest shinobi wizard knowledge.

"You can't feel the nature energy without using Sage energy, Naruto! So activate it and you will get why you couldn't feel the Ten Tails!" Kurama's voice was pretty annoyed, despite the situation, with them being in the middle of POSSIBLY LAST WAR EVER.

"Yes I can feel him! He is just elusive, Kurama!"

"No, you can't! Activate the Sage Mode, Naruto!"

"Yes, I can! Almost there!" Naruto's brows was extremely knit together. His face was red from the exertion and sweat rolled down from his face. Anyone who knew Guy would take his currently perceived brows as a proof that genetically Naruto was related to Guy.

"No, you can't!"

"Yes .. I .. Can..!"

"Naruto!"

"Ku...ra...MA!"

"WHAT, NARUTO?!"

"AHH, SCREW THIS, KURAMA!"

"WHAT?!"

"SCREW THIIS!"

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU, NARUTO! PLEASE TALK LOUDER! I PLEASANTLY ASK YOU!"

Meanwhile Kakashi was sweatdropping and Gu was doing his Great Guy pose towards them.

Meanwhile Madara and Obito was still halfwy at jumping on to the Ten Tails. After few seconds their' wizard power successfully brought them together at the top of the newly reincarnated beast. They both focused their chakra's and two tentacles slowly appeared out of the beasts's head. It moved painfully slow.. UNTIL IT INSERTED ITSELF INTO THEIR HEADS. Does this count as reverse mind zoophilia [ repace with more fancy word]? Dwell on that. Meanwhile Obito and Madara felt something.. Dwell on that, too.

Meanwhile, Kakashi summoned an ocean and Kuram and Naruto was forced to stop their bickering. Naruto succumbed to the peer pressure of the Great Guy pose and Kakashi's ocean and Kurama and the Not-Juubi's eyes staring at them unblinkingly, completelly unimpressed. 'If this Juubi was my date, I would so failed!' This sudden absurd thought came to Naruto. His eyes bulged out a little and he swallowed nervously, looking like he swallowed a lemon instead of his own saliva. Naruto shut his eyes closed and shook his head repeatedly to remove the manevlent image from his mind.

"Guys, don't look the Not-Juubi in the eyes! He uses strange genjutsu!"

Kakashi looked at Naruto, disturbed. "What did it do, Naruto?"

"It forced me to see disgusting dating images!" Kakashi suddenly looked blissful and Naruto's eyes bulged open again. "Kakashi-sensei... Please, not now! Your porn addiction isn't useful now!" Kakashi sighed dreamily. "Ahh, the Icha-Icha... My old friend!"

Naruto nervously switched his attention to Guy. Guy immediatly turned to Naruto and continued doing his Great Guy pose, white teeth killing Naruto's eyes, forcing Kurama's chakra to continously work on them.

"Yo, yo mama, what the yo is happening yo-yo!"

Suddenly, Kurama shouted. "Listen, everybody!" Naruto and Bee looked at Kurama, surprised. "I think I get the reason while Kakashi and Guy is acting so strange!"

"What? Why?"

"The Ten Tails!"

"What?!"

"He is creating the genjutsu! I think they are readying it for Mugen Tsukuyomi!"

Naruto looked shocked.

"What?! Dattebayo, this dattebayo cough cough, dattebayes, cough!

Sorry. I meant to call them dattebayes!"

"We need to attack the Ten Tails now!"

"Where is he?! I only see Not-Juubi!"

"Damn you NARUTOOO!"

"Yo, yo, stop messing around, yo! Listen to me, yo, I've got a plan, yo!"

Kurama turned to Bee only to see him making a rap dance.

"What have you got, yo, I mean, Bee?!"

"Here is my plan! Yo, yo, yo, yo!"

Next on fanfiction-

"A-ah. This was fun."

After President Trump's hair conditioning shampoo advertising.

"Here is what we, yo, gotta do, yo!"

"Get to the point!" Kurama was shouting inpatienly. "Yes, Bee, get straight to it! We don't have time!" Yelled Naruto.

Meanwhile, the Juubi was meditating. It has been long since it has last walked the physical realm, it felt that. Much changed but some things remained unchanged. Anyway, focus. First thing to do then you found yourself waking from Shinju-knows-how-long amount of sleep, you meditate. In,out. In, out. Okay, done.

Suddenly, the Juubi's eye jerked into focus, spinning once. A booming voice sounded from the heathens, yet from hell, loud, yet quit. Sweet, yet sour.

Naruto, Bee and Gyuki and Kurama sprinted towards the Ten Tails, two tailed beast bombs ready to fire.

Madara frowned at the useless inputof information coming from the "wire" and looked at his opponents readying an attack. "This is useless." Obito looked at his from the side. "Did the reincaration gone wrong? Perhaps we will need to acquire the rest of the taled beasts next." Madara shifted his eyes to him in thought. "No.. Something is wrong here..." Suddenly everyone heard a loud booming voice revebrate throught the battlefield.

"And now that do we have here?"

The Juubi's eyes scanned the scape around itself, a scowl on it's face. It's eye first found the two beasts sprinting straight at him.

"My nipples, my anus and legs." Then it looked to the three humans. "Calorie-dense-protein-lacking insects.. Wow, what an irony.. And, anyway, two of the same on my head."

"What the dattebayo is that! It talks!" The trio stopped midair and jumped back towards Kakashi and Guy who seemed to get out from their heads. Guy looked more and more confused making his Great Guy pose and eventually halted and Kakashi started getting up from the ground.

"Of course I talk you folly insect! Now, let me get rid of these two annoyances." Before Obito and Madara had time to react, they were thrown away towards their opponents.

Now, the Juubi moved for the first time. It positioned it's hands for more comfort and stopped idlessly moving its many tails. It glared at the more complete scenery.

"First, let me get my anus and nippes back.. and then I will enter deep contemplation about what fun I am going to have!" It yelled.

Naruto grit his teeth got white whipped cream from his mouth. "How dare you insult my friends, ten tailed stonehead! And I won't let you get them you hear me dattebaical dattebayouit!"

The Juubi stopped glaring and looked straight at Naruto with narrowed eye.

"What is that, new cool kid 133t speeak?" Suddenly it started making strange sound. After a moment it was clear that it was laughing.

Naruto almost lost his conciousness in rage.

"Calm down now Naruto! We are going to need to team up with our enemies!" Kurama and Bee shouted.

"Enemy of my enemy is my friend, huh?" Asked Obito.

Madara summoned a wood dragon and sent it towards The Juubi. After it reached the Ten Tails, the Juubi opened it's mouth, revealing complete darkness surrounded by army of white sharp teeth. This guy obviously never visited a dentist, everyone thought in the back of their minds. The dragon then dissapeared inside the Juubi's powerful mouth which was it shut closed immediatly. After a second rude chewing noises could be heard on the whole battlefield.

"Nom-nom... I have tried better." The chewing stopped.

Madara hmed. "I guess it can't be helped. I will help to team up with you losers..."

"What?!" Bee and Kurama shouted angrily.

"Wait, Kurama, Bee! He is right! How are we going to fight him by ourselves?!" Naruto shouted, although Kurama suspected he was also eager to try his Talk No Technique on Obito and Madara while they were more closer to him.

"Good thinking Naruto! But wrong timing!"

"Maybe this Not Juubi is weakling,yo! We have to try attacking him like Madara-ram-ram did,yo!" This was Bee.

Suddenly the ground shook. Evidently the Juubi was tired of this messing around and came into action. It used it's hand to kind of crawl. Naruto laughed.

"Ha, he is not going to reach like this, not in a million years dattebayo!" Suddenly, an earthquake happened and Juubi's hands moved faster and faster. Suddenly, it was onto them, kicking them with it's hands and tails, sending everyone flying in various directions.

"Say that again, junk food oyster!" The Juubi roared, its eye in the dust cloud, glimmering.

Suddenly the Juubi heard a shout above it.

"Now, Bee, Kurama!" It tilted it's head up and far above it could see Bee in his Gyaki form and Yellow Kurama with Naruto inside of it creating spinning tailed beast bombs around their mouths.

"Got him!" They both shouted, and fired their bombs away.

The Juubi looked forwards, the booms instantly making their way towards it.

Suddenly, the ground shook. The Juubis head dissapeared inside itself and reapearred with its mouth fully open. Lightning appeared out of blue and spiralled towards the center of Juubi's mouth, forming a dark black sphere of energy. Suddenly it shrank to a small size and after taking powerful shifts of air inside itself dissapeared inside The Juubis mouth, which the beast promptly shut and then opened moment later. Powerful dark beam shoot out of its mouth towards the bombs sent its way. The beam moved instantly and the two bombs was seemingly devoured by the beam, not even exploding. Kurama and Bee evaded the moment the realized what was happening but because of the speed with which the Juubi summoned its attack, they only barely managed to save themselves from the destroying beam. The beam flew past them and onto the world, dissapearing from their view. It rapidly approached mountain area, first slamming into one mountain, erasing half of it from existense and then it flew forward, towards the second mountain on its path. It promtply entered the mountain, now becoming a black ball instead of a beam and flew underground. A huge explosion was heard hundreds of miles away, the ball atomising every mountain and everything on its way and collapsing the ground like a poorly knit cloth. Eventually it reach the last mountain on its linear way and exploded, leaving a huge crater. If someone would look at this crater they would find that it instantly filled with water and lava from newly freed underground pathways. The crater was 30 km in diameter. From afar it looked like a star ten times larger than sun appeard for a few seconds with a mushrom like pyramid crowns appearing above it.

Everyone, even Madara, swallowed.

"What a nice burp that was! And now!"

To be continued(?)..


End file.
